One of the biggest problem with written communication is that unless noted,
you cannot tell HOW something is communicated. What I mean is that you don't
know if there's a smile on that persons face or evil intent.
Try saying "I hate you!" with a smile on your face and you know what I mean.
As is evident it's how you say something that upsets people, not what they
say. However, when it's written you can't tell how, so you focus on what was
said.
"That hurt, you bastard!" [silly smile] would change everything. You would
know it was not a real upset but a faked one and you can smile with it.
We get into all sorts of misunderstood arguments because of this. Some of us
write rather easily and we all get to partake in arguments between two or
three people, that none are really interested in. Looking closer one can
often see how this is started by misunderstandings that then only gets worse
as each is trying to sort things out in public, but who is at that point
upset too and easily throw out other degrading comments. And it starts all
over.
I had this idea of a book I was going to write which was based on
misunderstoods. It had in it a foreigner (like me), and followed his
escapedes of escalated misunderstandings.
He had a pretty light look on life and took things as it came. Few subjects
were so serious it could not be joked about. Of course there's time and
place, but not being fully familiar with the local customs, he got in
trouble. Continously.
Anyway, even being very aware of how easy you can be misread I often say
things that can still be read differently depending how the reader is feeling
at that moment.
So please bare this in mind before starting a flame. (It's not that I have
anything against a good argument, or flamewar, but usually only two people
have ANY interest in following it.)
--Steve Szmidt
"They that would give up essential liberty for temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." Benjamin Franklin ----------------------------------------------------------------------- This list is provided as an unmoderated internet service by Networked Knowledge Systems (NKS). Views and opinions expressed in messages posted are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of NKS or any of its employees.
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